So how do you build the right kind?

Key Takeaways

• Egomaniacs disrupt business because they don’t listen or work to find common ground that could move solutions forward.
• Build internal confidence by focusing on tasks you already do well, and practice to improve those skills.
• World class athletes and entrepreneurial superstars use affirmations and visualization techniques — you should too.

Someone who brags and dominates conversations about his area of expertise could be insecure, or he could be an egomaniac — a person possessed by delusions of personal greatness. In some cases, egomaniacs truly believe they know it all. Unfortunately, they feel the need to prove this to everyone around them.

In the business world, you’ll see this when people toss around their title just to intimidate others. That type of behavior drives me a bit nutty. Acting superior to someone when it is not necessary or appropriate is a b.s. move.

The biggest reason egomaniacs frustrate me is because they’ve closed their minds, they won’t listen to ideas from others, and they won’t respect alternative viewpoints to see if they can find common ground to move a solution forward. They don’t listen.

It’s okay if you’re the smartest person in the room. But you don’t need to pound your chest and mark your territory. It’s one thing to show you have confidence; it’s another thing entirely to brag and be a jerk about it. If you’re ultra-confident and you feel like you’re surrounded by people who know less than you do, it doesn’t mean you can’t still learn something from them.

If you’re a real estate agent dealing with a new agent on the other end of a transaction, it’s easy to discount or ignore anything that agent says. It may be tempting to bulldoze right over her to get the deal done. However, she may have some knowledge or information that could impact the transaction. If you blow her off or ignore her, you may miss something that has huge implications for your client.

If you don’t care about messing things up for your client because you’re so confident you can do it yourself, then you are an egomaniac.

Build the right kind of confidence

So how do you be confident without being cocky? Be internally confident. You don’t need to prove to your clients that you know what you’re doing; it will be apparent. If you feel you are lacking internal confidence, here are four ways to grow your confidence:

1. Focus on what you do well – If your strength is that you work well with just about anyone, then focus that quality to build connections with your clients so they feel comfortable with you. If your strength is your years of experience in the business, then think about how you are uniquely positioned to help your clients avoid costly mistakes.

2. Use affirmations and visualization techniques – This may sound cheesy, but there’s a reason that peak performers, world class athletes, and entrepreneurial superstars implement affirmations and visualization practices into their daily routine. I challenge you to try affirmations and visualizations for 30 days. You’ll be shocked at what happens.

3. 
   Practice/Improve – I wish I could tell you some secret that would eliminate your need to practice a skill to get better at it. But the fact remains that the more you practice something, the more you improve. The more you improve, the more your confidence will grow.
   
   4. Do the work – Often agents are not confident because they didn’t prepare. If you want to get more confident, really put in the work to prepare to help your client. It’s like kids who have a weekly spelling test. If they put in the work during the week to drill those spelling words, they will welcome the test at the end of the week. Other kids who cram right before the test or blow off studying are likely to feel stressed on test day.

In real estate, if you put in the work prior to your appointment, you won’t have to try to be confident, you will be.