Listing a home when couples divorce (without getting caught in the crossfire)

Key Takeaways

• The chaos of divorce impacts the price of a listing, so it’s important to put in writing what pricing is agreeable to each spouse.
• Enlist the help of an additional agent and each client’s attorney, if needed, to calm emotions and ensure that each client feels fairly represented.
• Have an honest conversation with both sellers about the likelihood of pricing and the difficulties of selling a home during a divorce.

Divorce is common, and it does impact the price of your listing. You’ve got to decide if you even want these listings.

The first meetings are always great. The divorce seems to be amicable in the beginning. The couple says, “Yeah, this is the plan we both agree to.” But it eventually gets nasty, and it’s only a matter of time before you, as their agent, have crosshairs on your back.

One or both parties will blame you for taking sides or being unfair. You’re going to try to keep the deal together, but emotions run so high in these things that it can be an extremely difficult situation. You almost need an agent per spouse. That helps minimize some of the back and forth, being put in the middle of the mess.

You need to make sure before you take these listings that there’s a clear understanding of expectations and likelihood of pricing. You want to avoid the whole rigmarole of getting an offer to the table and then having one party say, “No, I want more.”

And they’ll do this, not because they don’t want to sell, but because they want to be spiteful to the other spouse. They want to cause pain, hurt, and frustration because that’s what they feel.

So you’ve got to be extremely careful when you get in these situations. You want to be very clear on your listing agreement about pricing and what’s an acceptable offer to each party. Then you go into far more detail in your listing agreement on divorce situations, because if you get into that situation and suddenly someone refuses to sign something, you have a listing agreement — a contract — that says they agreed to do this.

Usually in a divorce, each side has their own attorney, so you can show that to their attorney, which will help them help their client understand that they need to sign the offer. Even with that, there are still so many potential nightmares.

Knowing all that, here’s what I do when I have clients who come to me and say, “Hey, Mike, we need to sell. We’re getting a divorce.” I’ll go to the appointment and tell them some of the stories of what has happened to me in the past with divorce situations.

I don’t go into great detail, but I do have a tough talk with them. I say, “I’m happy to do this, and I’ll work my butt off and make sure you guys get the best price for this house, but here’s what I don’t want to happen. I don’t want to be considered an enemy a month down the road if things get tough or emotional.”

I have the talk with them right then, because trying to have it later would be next to impossible. Even if they’re in the same room at the beginning, there’s a chance they may not be in the same room before the thing is over. So it’s really important to make sure everyone has a clear understanding before you jump in.

A lot of times the house is not going to be able to show to the best of its ability in these situations because of all the dynamics going on. That impacts pricing significantly. The person remaining in the house might potentially need a lot more help getting the house cleaned or tackling chores that need to be handled before the house is listed.

These situations need a lot more handholding. And if you can’t do it, it’s going to impact pricing. All of these things should be discussed before you take the listing.